That’s right. After decades as the butt of worst-game-show-ever jokes, Comedy Central has decided to bring back Chuck Barris’ greatest masterpiece, deciding that specialized ripoffs like Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Wanna Be A Superhero and, yes, America’s Most Smartest Model need to see how the whole peons-debasing-themselves-on-national-television-for-embarassingly-small-amounts-of-money thing is really done.
Barris was a crazed genius, as anyone who read his amazing autobiography (or saw his biopic) knows, but shows like The Newlywed Game & The Dating Game went over because Chuck was active and hands-on in every part of the show, either behind the scenes or in front of the camera. I don’t know how connected he’s going to be to the current version of The Gong Show, but it can’t be as much as thirty years ago. It’s still going to sink or swim based on how well the new host and the panel treats it.
Oh yeah, the new host of The Gong Show? Dave Attell.
Like that choice or not, they had to give him another show. Insomniac was a modest hit shot on a tiny budget, and which really had its moments. (And Comedy Central gave Lewis Black a show, which was also deserved, even if it’s currently sucking and sinking under its own stupidly tight premise. Everyone involved with that show deserves better.)
I like Attell, though I’ll need to be convinced.
So, given that the host is set, who would be good to be on the panel? I have some ideas. Past the usual Daily Show alumni, Friars Club regulars and Best Week Ever retreads, who would be able to properly and entertainingly wield a mallet on the new Gong Show?
Here’s who I’m thinking would be good at it, and would also be willing to try it (I’ll add to this list, but it’s a start):
- Arianna Huffington
- Tucker Carlson
- Quincy Jones
- Toby Keith
- Kelly Andrews (the female announcer from The Soup)
- Jocelyn Wildenstein
- John Daly
- Madeline Albright
- George Takei (or Leonard Nimoy, come to think of it; Shatner’s too hammy)
- Tonya Harding
- Busta Rhymes
Feel free to add to this list if you’re so moved.
In giving a nod to the gorgeousness of the day today, we’re going to do at least two different rounds that will remind you of how good we’ve got it these days. The era of six-foot snowdrifts may be pretty much gone, but we’re not yet in the age of ninety-degree winters and coyotes wandering in from the outer boroughs looking for cactuses and prairie dogs among the potholed ruins.
Followed by, in no particular order: